Month: March 2025

Greetings my dear friends! Welcome back to the madness! Haha!

Last week I got super serious about the current criminal, cartel administration. This week, I shall keep it light and airy. 😉

Yes, I do live in a time warp. And yes, I have decided to go back in time to the year 1985 when I graduated from low school. Why did I choose this particular year? Well, yes, it was 40 years ago (which means I have been out of low school 40 years!), but I mainly chose this year because it was much more peaceful than now. 2025 has been riddled with nothing but angst, and this is only March! However 40 years ago in March of 1985, life was much less complicated and filled with, for the most part, happiness and the promise of new beginnings with my high school (low school) graduation coming up that June.

The music was on point!

As were the TV shows and movies.

I mean, sure there was that dreadful Cold War looming over our heads, and I have written extensively about that before.

But my life was so much better back then. No responsibilities except finishing school. No gotdarn bills to pay. It was heaven. And what was I thinking? Wanting to grow up and be an adult, because adulting is HARD!

And to be brutally frank, I can no longer tolerate today’s times. It SUCKS!!

The other reason why I am pro 1985 right now, is I have decided to start my life over from that point in time. I call it being 17 again. And this time I am being more focused on what I want out of life, even though I am actually 57! 🤣😂😉

Hey, it’s never too late to start over again.

This time around, I have more of a plan, a direction for my life. And of course, as I have learned, be prepared to alter those plans and direction if necessary, because life circumstances have a way of throwing curve balls. 😉😉

This time around, I am not giving a damn about friendships. Let me explain. I am not dumping friends, per se. It’s just that I am not hanging my all on people like I did in the past.

This time around I am not being so easily upset with family. I am trying to be more tolerant, especially with my aunt being in a nursing home.

This time around I am TRYING to be more business minded and money conscious. Note I said TRYING! 😀

This time around I am trying to focus less on the boys and more on myself. 😉😉

But most importantly, this time around, I am trying to heal that rift from when I started UCF and wasted my life between the fall of 1985 to the summer of 1987. This is very important to me. This may sound strange to some, but sometimes you have to return to the scene of the crime even if it is in your own mind.

So, this isn’t really about a nostalgia trip, but more of a mental healing. So, let me explain and try to give it a bit more context.

For those of you who don’t already know, starting in the fall of 1985 my first year at UNC, and after I entered into that dreadful cult, United Christian Fellowship or UCF, that fall is when I started to lose my mind. I have written about UCF previously. In my 5-part series, Religion: Is It Helpful or Harmful?

Please click on the banner below.

There is no other way for me to say this except to say that I started hearing voices. Quick backstory and as explained above, UCF’s Pastor Evans or Pastor E as we called him, said that listening to secular music was a sin, which tore me to pieces. I ended up throwing all of my cassettes away, and believe you me, I had amassed quite a number of them. However, in April of 1986, which was still my freshman year, Culture Club released their From Luxury to Heartache album, which was A-MAZE-BALLS! So, against Pastor E’s orders, I went to the-then Record Bar on Franklin Street and bought it, listened to it, and then promptly threw it away. And I did that twice. Stupid, I know. But I was in a CULT!!

However, the voices thing really came from Culture Club’s Waking Up With the House on Fire’s Dangerous Man with the line “He could word it out like a dangerous man. Martin (meaning Martin Luther King, Jr.) had the Devil just like anyone can. He spoke words they were frightened to mention.” When I thought about it, with Dr. King being a man of God, in my twisted mind with the Devil lyric, I thought I had blasphemed the Holy Ghost.

According to the Bible, blaspheming the Holy Ghost is the one sin that you can never be forgiven for. (Yeah, my intrusive thoughts were a thing even back then!) So, I lived in fear of that until I spoke with Pastor E about it, and he assured me that I had not done that.

But what a mess I was between 1985 to 1987. In 1987, I finally left that church because Charles Mills, my former bestie who also had been in that church left, too. I wanted to leave, but he gave me the impetus, just like moving away up to north campus into my own dorm room. Ha!

I feel like that period between 1985 and 1987 I was cheated out of part of the life I should have had, that I should have experienced. And I really need to sit down and go back in time and see what that would have looked like for me. Let me think:

1. I probably would have joined the marching band at Carolina. I had made plans to do that, I think, my sophomore year, but by then I was a music major and didn’t feel like I had the time.
2. Maybe I would have ended up with a BOYFRIEND!!! HA!
3. I most certainly would have started drinking sooner. Double Ha!!!
4. And here’s the kicker: But would I have become a music major? Hmmmm Or would I have been on track to becoming a doctor or pharmacist? (Pharmacy was my declared major back then). Well, probably not pharmacy, because ooooo that chemistry kicked my arse!

What I am trying to say without saying it, is religion brought me down into the beginning of mental illness. I don’t know, but maybe if I hadn’t joined that stupid church, maybe I would have spared myself some of that anguish. Who knows? Perhaps Ralph (the destructive intrusive thoughts in my head) would have found a way to find me, as he actually did even prior to 1985, which is a whole other story…

Just a thought… 🤔🤔

But at any rate, perhaps 1985 to 1987 is the bridge to reclaiming my sanity.

Now, before you depart, please check out the Derek Store. You won’t be sorry. 😀😀

Please stop by next week when the topic will be me discussing a part of my past that I never delve into. Ooooooo! Suspense! You won’t wanna miss. Until then, please be safe and, as always, mentally well!

DEREK’S DISCLAIMER:  I am not a medical professional, neither am I giving any medical or legal advice. If you are seeking help from a doctor or an attorney, please consult said professionals.  These are my personal thoughts and feelings on the subjects discussed, and my blog is my own personal experiences and journey with mental imbalance.  Thanking you in advance!

I do not own the copyright to any songs or videos listed here. 

AFFILIATE DISCLAIMER:  There are products on this page.  By clicking on the links, you will be redirected to that page at no cost to you.  However, I will receive compensation if you purchase something (which I hope you do 😊).

Hello, all! I’m back!

As the title suggests, how is everyone doing during this most horrific time in history? Like many of you, I have not seen anything like this in my lifetime, where our very freedoms and democracy are on the line.

I don’t know about anyone else, but I feel as if I am living in a constant state of worry and anxiety. I am not at a point, thank God, where I feel like I have to look over my shoulder. However, every day is like an ‘okay what is the news going to say with regard to that orange thing?’ Or ‘what is the horrible headline of the day that I need to follow up on and check out for myself?’ In other words, ‘what executive order signed with the tiny hands of the orange baboon do I need to concern myself over?’

Under other presidencies, it was like business as usual. And the last time that thing was in office, it was a horrific disaster. But this time it is much, much worse. When is the day where it is going to become a full-on, full-fledged fascist country? It’s terrible!

We are being barraged by executive order after executive order. We don’t know which way to turn. It is constant!

We are being threatened by this cartel administration saying they are going to prosecute our senators who are fighting for us. Prosecute them just for speaking out against the Orange Baboon. (I’m sorry, I know that is an insult to all baboons!)

I have even started tucking an extra dollar or two here or there to make sure my money is safe, just in case Presidunce Musk and his DOGE twinks decide to hack into the banking systems, well they’ve probably already done that.

I am hoarding canned foods, too. So, every time I am at the grocery store now, I will purchase a canned good or two, something easy to open, just in case I either cannot get out of my house to go to the store. Or in case, I have to go on the run.

I have heard of others packing a “go bag” or a “flee bag” or “bug-out bag.” Again, in case you need to get the heck outta dodge.

Or perhaps there will be another pandemic, which by the looks of things, like last time, we will have to go through. Again.

Now, let me speak on the mental health aspect of all of this. I am trying to maintain throughout this ordeal, but I am slightly scared, and at the same time, really pissed off. I feel like my waking moments are now devoted to the Orange Clown or as I call that smelly, criminal, rapist insurrectionist – Orangina.

However, I know there are others who are downright terrified for their very lives, safety and existence. ICE raids have now become commonplace. Terrified Hispanic people are not reporting to work for fear of being captured and deported. People have started carrying their passports around just in case ICE stops them and they have to prove they are U.S. citizens, me included. My mother even does it now, too.

WE SHOULDN’T HAVE TO DO THIS!!!! THIS IS NOT NORMAL!!!!

Oh, and speaking of ICE, I just read about an 11-year-old Hispanic girl in Texas who committed suicide because her classmates bullied her, telling her that her parents were going to get deported and she would be left all alone.

INTOLERABLE!!!!

And make no mistake, Orangina is coming after ALL OF US! Or I should say those of us who are POC, members of the Alphabet Community, women, the undocumented. And those who support DEI and the above segments of the population.

And check out this video below, where Teresa Borrenpohl was dragged out of an Idaho town hall by security guards for asking a question and then heckling the speaker. Fortunately, the security guards have since had their licenses revoked and Ms. Borrenpohl was not seriously injured.

Now, here is the part where hopefully I can be of some help:

Stay calm and FOCUSED!

BREATHE!!!! I mean it, take deep breathes.

Center yourself.

Distract yourself.

Do something you enjoy doing.

Turn off the news!

Do NOT engage with Orangina, i.e. ignore any headlines or articles or anything posted about that thing.

CALL YOUR SENATORS!! Here is the number to the United States Capitol switchboard – (202) 224-3121.

And here is a new app a good friend and colleague just turned me onto – 5 calls. Use it! Call those representatives!!!!! It even provides a list of topics to call on, with SCRIPTS!!!

We are in this fight together. Don’t forget that. Stay strong!

That’s it! Thank you, again, for stopping by. Please return next time when the topic will be how I wish this was 1985 all over again. Weird, huh? Well, come back and see how weird! 🤣😂😉

Until then, please be safe and, as always, mentally well!

P.S. Please check out this excellent article for further tips on coping with this horrible, criminal administration.

DEREK’S DISCLAIMER:  I am not a medical professional, neither am I giving any medical or legal advice. If you are seeking help from a doctor or an attorney, please consult said professionals.  These are my personal thoughts and feelings on the subjects discussed, and my blog is my own personal experiences and journey with mental imbalance.  Thanking you in advance!

I do not own the copyright to any songs or videos listed here. 

AFFILIATE DISCLAIMER:  There are products on this page.  By clicking on the links, you will be redirected to that page at no cost to you.  However, I will receive compensation if you purchase something (which I hope you do 😊).