Welcome back, all of my dear friends and readers! So, glad you are continuing with me on this journey.
As promised from last time, I wanted to touch on the fact that our gay icons really and truly help with our mental anguish. And not just mental anguish, but also help us and guide us throughout our lives in many ways. For example, they can get us through tough times, happy times, nostalgic times, etc. They help us cope with life in general.
And I shouldn’t relegate it towards just the Rainbow Community, but for all of us. But still, gay men, in particular tend to gravitate to the following artists, personalities, actors/actresses, etc.
Annie Lennox/Eurythmics
From the very first moment an orange-haired Annie Lennox, along with songwriting partner, David Stewart, came on the scene with Sweet Dreams, with their iconic video (yes, with the cow!), a then-15yo me was like what in the world??? It was WONDERFUL! And like Boy George (whom I will be discussing later in this post), we were introduced to androgyny.
Eurythmics got me through low school and into college and beyond. SOOOO many iconic hits by them – Sweet Dreams, Love Is a Stranger, Who’s That Girl?, Would I Lie to You? Sisters are Doin’ It for Themselves, Missionary Man — all of it! Annie’s style, her gender bending, her menacing looks – I have done nothing but try and emulate and copy, not only her singing voice, but her attitude and style as well.
And then she and Dave took a break from each other, and she started her solo career in 1992 with Diva. And oh. My. God. This CD is exactly what I needed at that time in my gay career 🤣😂❤️ – She released this CD during the time I was with Darrell, and Why was THE PERFECT anthem that literally described our chaotic and dysfunctional relationship. And even Stay By Me – the line “dark as your hair,” reminded me of Darrell. And Walking on Broken Glass, was another perfect description of our relationship, and how I felt like that was exactly what I was doing where he was concerned.
But her other hits – Legend in My Living Room reminded me of TRYING to make a success of myself in music. And Cold and the smooth, silky and soulful Money Can’t Buy It, and Precious all hit my soul like a ton of bricks.
And later with her solo album Medusa – with cuts such as No More I Love You’s, which I got to showcase her beginning vocals in Rumpelstiltskin, a children’s show I did at Snow Camp, North Carolina, back in 1998. I played the Prime Minister, who I played very foppish and GAY, and as the PM, I opened the show with this song. It was so hilarious. There was even a moment in the play where I, and the rest of the court, come out in a frenzy, I do the vocals and they answered me! 😂🤣🤣👏🏾
And don’t get me started on her renditions of Thin Line Between Love and Hate and I Can’t Get Next to You – WOW!!
Waiting in Vain, reminded me SO MUCH of the Javier storyline and his disappearances. The song just hurt, as any good song should, as I was reminded of how much I was waiting in vain for him and his love.
Bare showed a more mature gay Derek – yeah, right! Or maybe a more Bitter Derek, as Bitter Pill suggested. It was really that line “Finally the truth has come, I guess I knowed it all along, nothing else I could have done – bitter! I’m bitter! So bitter!” 😁😉
But other notable songs such as the opening track – A Thousand Beautiful Things, Wonderful, The Hurting Time, and Honestly, especially The Hurting Time just, again, hit hard.
Fortunately, I got to see her perform back in 2003 at the Woodruff Arts Center, where she played all of Eurythmics’ signature hits, in addition to her new stuff from Bare. INCREDIBLE NIGHT!! She proved that night that she is indeed A DIVA!!!!
Boy George/Culture Club
Boy George. Boy George. BOY GEORGE!! From the first moment Culture Club appeared on the scene back in 1982, with Do You Really Want to Hurt Me, frontman Boy George with his gender-bending style and making us all wonder is it a boy or a girl – made me sit up and take notice. Just like Annie, I was like “who is THAT?” I was absolutely mesmerized! It was his style, the way he dressed – as he labeled it at the American Music Awards back in ’84, like a drag queen 🤣😂👏🏾- his silky and soulful voice, Culture Club’s music and lyrics – it all just blew my mind! I wanted to BE Boy George!!!!!!!! In my own singing, as with Annie, I have often tried to emulate his voice and his style. I have even gotten compliments from people saying I sound like him!!
Now, Do You Really Want to Hurt Me, may have started it. However, Karma Chameleon, It’s a Miracle, Black Money, Changing Every Day, Miss Me Blind, Mister Man, andVictims ALL from their second album Colour By Numbers – cemented my love for Culture Club and Boy George FOREVER!!
Moving on to the lesser successful, but still iconic album, in my opinion – Waking Up with The House on Fire – with songs such as – well, of course – The War Song. But the opening track, Dangerous Man is THE song to listen to. It is extraordinarily soulful and very 70s Curtis Mayfield, as I like to call it. And then there’s Unfortunate Thing, Mistake No. 3, which they released, The Dive – another of my faves, and the very disco/pop Don’t Talk About It. Closing things out are Hello Goodbye. Both Crime Time and Mannequin exemplify a very bluesy, jazzy 1940s/50s style.
In college, it was all about From Luxury to Heartache, which came out in 1986, when I was in the height of my religious days. Oh Brother. I was THUNDERSTRUCK by not just the opening track and released single Move Away, but I Pray, Work on Me Baby, another discoish song Gusto Blusto, Heaven’s Children, God Thank You Woman, Reasons, and my other personal fave Too Bad, which shows the true side of America. Even then Boy George knew what was up.
And I didn’t miss Culture Club’s appearance on the hit TV show A-Team back in ’86, appropriately entitled “Cowboy George,” where they performed Move Away, God Thank You Woman, and ending with, Karma Chameleon, which was more appropriate for the country bar they were performing in. 😂👏🏾
Boy George didn’t try to hide his sexuality either. At first he admitted to sleeping with both girls and blokes – as he put it. But then eventually came out as full-on gay. And therefore, that cemented my connection to the Boy even more.
And just to be clear, I STILL listen to all of Culture Club’s hits, as well as Boy George’s solo stuff, to this day.
Cher
Now, talk about a gay icon! This lady will NEVER die!! LOLOL Talk about literally growing up with/watching/listening to an iconic artist, it definitely was Cher. I remember Cher going as far back as when I was a little child!! Actually, Cher and I go way back to the Sonny & Cher Variety Hour. So, we are talking the EARLY 70s! And this was also when her son Chaz was actually Chastity. And if any of you try to drag me for referring to her “dead name” you can go fuck yourself. Because it is the truth!
But through the years, Cher has been such a force to be reckoned with, from her movies and TV appearances to, of course, her epochal music. And to go the distance to where her music was played in the gay clubs, shows not only her longevity but her cultural relevance.
Cher’s style and refusing to go away has kept us gay young’uns on our toes, and yes, that would include her hits being played in the gay clubs in the mid-to-late 90s and into the 2000s.
My gay friends and I could not get enough of Believe, Strong Enough or One by One back in the day. And then she released Living Proof in 2001, and I just absolutely fell in love with that album!! Though Song for the Lonely was her big hit from that album, as well as The Music’s No Good Without You and A Different Kind of Love Song, it was all about Rain, Rain a slow, lachrymose and almost tearful and maudlin ballad and Real Love with its upbeat tempo and driving beats, did it for me. I was a 12yo gay then. LOLOL
I even attended ONE of her MANY farewell tours around 2001! What a show!!!!!
Cher’s style, movies and music will never die or go away. After everyone else is gone, Cher will no doubt still live on.
Elton John
Now Elton, like Cher, goes wayyyyy back into childhood for me. It really began in Kindergarten, when I kid you not, it seemed like every time my Aunt Eva got me up for school back then in 1972, Crocodile Rock was playing on the radio!!!!!! LOLOL That and Bennie and the Jets.
And then it was off to high school with I’m Still Standing. Now, you have to understand that Elton, as you already know, has a HUGE catalogue of music, but it was certain songs for me, such as I‘m Still Standing, which I used to rock out during my gay heydey thinking of all the things I had survived up to that point. And I didn’t know about And All the Young Girls Love Alice, until much later in my life. But let me tell you that fucking song is AMAZING! And of course sad, because of what happens to Alice. And the revelation that she is a 16yo lesbian, who “only last Tuesday they found you in the subway dead.” Tragic.
Elton’s outfits made him a more modern-day Liberace in a way, and of course, since he plays piano like Liberace, hence the comparison. And Elton being an out and proud gay man, definitely made me feel that connection to him, as well.
George Michael
And then there’s George Michael, who also holds a special place in my heart, just like The Boy, over not only his music but because he himself was also gay. I found solace in that knowledge, even if it was painful for him to come out. He helped save me, too. And he is so missed.
Now, there is the debate that I started at work who do you prefer between the Georges – Boy George or George Michael. And George Michael seems to win everytime (though I still prefer the Boy) but I digress. George Michael was truly instrumental in my gay life when he released FastLove, because he seemed to be telling us the truth about who he really was, a gay man. And I used to get ready to go out to the gay clubs to that song.
But I cannot forget his beginnings with JITTERBUG – Wake Me UJp Before You Go Go way back when I was in high school. Or Careless Whisper, Everything She Wants, Freedom ’90, I’m Your Man, et al.
George Michael passed away on Christmas Day, 2016. And I was in Washington, D.C., visiting family. To say I was devastated learning of his death, and on Christmas Day of all days, is an understatement. He will NEVER be forgotten. By the by, Wham’s Last Christmas beat out Mariah’s All I Want for Christmas is You this past Christmas 2025!!!! Sorry, Mariah. 😉❤️🎄❄️
Janet
Without me even giving her last name, you know who I’m talking about. Miss Jackson, if you’re nasty. Much like Cher, I remember when Janet was a mere child from the Jackson 5 specials and TV appearances, being the youngest and sassiest member of the family. And of course, her HILARIOUS imitation of Mae West!!
But then Janet grew up, and the next thing you know, she was making TV appearances of her own, appearing in such hit TV shows as Diff’rent Strokes as Willis’s girlfriend, and the television version of Fame. And of course movies, such as Poetic Justice and Tyler Perry’s Why Did I Get Married? Among others.
But again, it was her music that TRULY made the mark, at least for me. Talk about getting me through some rough times from my young adult years till now. Phew! She also helped me come out. When I came out back in 1989, it was all about her Rhythm Nation album/CD, which was actually my very first CD for my-then, brand-new CD/record player. With hit songs such as the title track Rhythm Nation, It’s Alright, The Knowledge, and Lonely, I was able to get myself through the beginning difficulties of being a gay man, particularly with regard to unrequited love. 😔 But Janet continued with the albums and the hits well into my 30s, 40s and even 50s. Later, I was all about If, That’s the Way Love Goes, Throb, New Agenda, Velvet Rope, Got Til It’s Gone, Go Deep, What About, It’s All For You – oh someone stop me, because I could go on FOREVER!! LOLOL You get the point. Janet has wayyyyyy too many hits to even name them all!!!!
And believe you me, each of her songs, especially her biggest hits, have a story to tell, and each has a special place in my heart and life.
Liberace
What can I say about the obviously flamboyant and OBVIOUSLY gay Liberace? I mean, come on, even in the 70s when I first laid eyes on this queen, I knew what was up. His flamboyant costumes and outfits, glittering with gold and sequins, certainly gave it away. As a matter of fact, I don’t think I can name a Liberace song, because I always focused on what he was wearing. 😂 Oh and the candelabra on top of his piano. But he most certainly told the entire world that it was definitely okay to be a homosexual!!! So, I had to include him. Because in many ways, he started it all for gay men to come out and just be themselves, flamboyance and all.
Lisa Stansfield
Lisa. Lisa!! LISA!!!! If anyone deserves the credit for helping me come out back in 1989, it’s this lady right here!!! What CAN I say about Lisa Stansfield??? I had become a bit of a regular at The Power Company at this point. It had to be the fall/winter of 1989 when I was on the dance floor, and suddenly the screen comes down and this chick with short hair and ordinary looks, but with a distinctive beauty mark, who started off by saying:
“I don’t know where my baby is. But I’ll find him, somewhere, somehow. I’ve got to let him know how much I care. I’ll never give up looking for my baby.”
And with that, we were off to the races with All Around the World or as a lot of people know it by “Been Around the World, I, I, I – I can’t find my baby!” LOLOL
Lisa was absolutely instrumental in me coming out. Along with Janet’s Rhythm Nation album, Lisa’s Affection held me together during the first few rocky months of me coming out. Well. They weren’t all THAT rocky. But it was during the Phil Leonard storyline when I was working at A Southern Season in Durham, N.C. And along with Rhythm Nation, Affection was also among the first CDs I bought with my new CD player.
Affection not only carried me throughout the Phil story, but also went deeply into the Charles Enzor storyline as well!!! By the time Charles came along, it was all about Lisa’s You Can’t Deny It and Sincerity, two songs that I felt cemented my strong attachment and attraction to Charles, who again, by the way, bore a striking resemblance to Sam Elliott!! I wore both of these songs out pining after Charles!!
But Lisa’s music didn’t end there. The next thing I knew there was her Real Love CD two years later, with her first hit Change and then All Woman, which I absolutely wore out!! Other notables for me off the CD were Time to Make You Mine, Symptoms of Loneliness & Heartache, A Little More Love, Real Love – the title track, and Tenderly. The entire CD was just out of this world.
And needless to say, I sang all of these songs at the top of my lungs!! 😁😉😂🎤🎙️
Later after I moved to Georgia, her album entitled simply Lisa Stansfield was my jam as I was trying to get over Javier Muro. Yes, the Javier storyline!! It seems that Lisa was instrumental – no pun intended – in helping navigate my way through these men!! LOL
And it was during the whole Javier deal, that songs from that CD like The Real Thing and DEFINITELY Got Me Missing You, were the key to me knowing how much I cared for and loved that man. This CD, like Lisa’s previous ones, I absolutely wore out.
And again, I played my own version of car karoake before it became a thing, by blasting The Real Thing, particularly, and singing “backup” to Lisa’s lead – AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS!! 😂🎤
Her albums Face Up and later Deeper and Seven, not to mention her compilation CDs, became a staple in my collection. I much later went back and discovered her 1993 album, So Natural, again thanks to Apple Music.
Following the release of her Deeper CD, a couple of us attended her concert here in Atlanta, a concert that was not to be missed. She put on quite a show!!! And such ENERGY she had!! Quite the ball of fire!!!!
Everything from the Deeper CD and Love of My Life, as well as Deeper, – the title track – are my personal faves.
I will forever be grateful to Lisa for all of the wonderful times – and the help and coping of getting me through some of the not-so-wonderful times – all of the help and comfort she gave to me, and I am quite sure, to a lot of other gay men.
Madonna
Madonna. Madonna. Madonna. What can I say about Madonna? Wow. Just wow. From the moment she came on the scene wayyyy back in the day, with Borderline, I have been hooked on her and her music ever since. I do remember when Lucky Star came out, but I don’t remember which one came out first – Lucky Star or Borderline – but it was Borderline, with its soft and melodic, dreamy opening, followed by the drum intro into the full song, is what got me hooked! As a then-16yo, I was like ‘who is this bish?’ She is fabulous!’ Well, I didn’t exactly think or say that, but I was like ‘look, oh she is really cool’ with her sort of tomboyish look and the song itself. And Madonna was JUST getting started.
She took me through the rest of low school, well into college and BEYOND! She was there when I came out in 1989, too, and BEYOND that!! I have seen her movies. Bought nearly ALL of her music whether cassettes or CDs, and now thanks to Apple Music, I have access to ALL of her music – for the low, low price of $10.99 a month. 😂🤣
But seriously, say what you will about Madonna now, back then she was totally FIERCE!!! She helped me get through soooooooooo much! I literally GREW UP with Madonna, well, you know what I mean. From simply watching her on Friday Night Videos and American Bandstand, et al to being able to dance to her music at the clubs. Her music (and videos) are so incredible. We are talking everything from sad to maudlin to risque and overly sexual. And who remembers when she released her Sex book back in 1992? I mean only Madonna can get away with something like that. 😉
And as we all know, Madonna certainly pushes the limits. She always has. Whether in her music or her style and most CERTAINLY her risque lyrics, Madonna has always been able to stay ahead of the curve. Heck. She reinvented it.
And I would be hardpressed to pick my favorite Madonna song. I can tell you I truly love her Erotica album, her Bedtime Stories album (which she just released the Extended Stories – lol). But of course, Like a Virgin is a great album from beginning to end. American Life, Music, True Blue, Ray of Light! Someone please stop me! Long live Madonna!!
Mariah Carey
So Mariah’s connection with me is DEFINITELY my Javier period with both Fantasy the remix but for sure, the Always Be My Baby remix. But, of course, like everyone else about five years prior, we were first introduced to Mariah because of her first hit single, Emotions, with her screeching high notes! Wow! I was still in North Carolina at the time, about two years before my move to Atlanta, and when I first heard that song, I was absolutely blown away by her vocals! Just damn! Other times she helped me get through tough times was her other single from the same album, Make It Happen, where she describes in achingly, painful detail how she struggled to make it (and I’m STILL struggling! LOLOL).
And then later, for me, it became about The Emancipation of Mimi, with We Belong Together and Say Somethin’ with Snoop Dogg!!!! I was still in the middle of my Kent and Osler phase(s) at that time. Ha!
And I must add that I was NEVER bothered by her song All I Want for Christmas!!!!! Though, as I mentioned earlier, Wham’s Last Christmas kicked her out of that no. 1 Chistmas song spot during December 2025. But heck, Mariah STILL reigns Supreme!!!
Pet Shop Boys
Made up of lead singer Neil Tennant and keyboardist Chris Lowe, their first hit West End Girls, may have been the beginning of it starting in high school for me, but damn it if these guys didn’t continue it for me many decades after.
And before I go any further, Neil Tennant is openly gay. Chris Lowe, the jury is still out on that one. But my guess would be, yes. 😉
But the fact that over the years, Neil was singing about gay life, really cemented my love for the duo.
With hits like Love Comes Quickly, which I actually discovered, I am pretty sure, when I was already out. It was a part of their Greatest Hits CDs. And so, I was exposed to Domino Dancing and It’s Alright and of course, What Have I Done to Deserve This?, which was a hit when I was in college. But these are the songs from that album that really got to me.
Particularly, Love Comes Quickly, because I felt that it always came quickly for me, but the other person – well, that was always another story. 😔
Later it became all about The Nightlife CD, not the song yet, but the CD. And they released this CD at the height of my gaydom LOLOL And so many great songs on there, but the ones that truly stuck out to me were You Only Tell Me You Love Me When You’re Drunk, I Don’t Know What You Want But I Can’t Give it Anymore. (Both songs I have personally lived through.) Not to mention New York City Boys and Happiness is an Option. This CD TRULY captured gay life back then, about the bars and unrequited love and toxic gay relationships.
But then they released the White CD, Release, and then I truly lost my mind over them again! LOL They released this in 2002, and that was one of the worst years of my entire life!!!! But this CD saved me and kept me sane, (well I dissociated anyway, but that’s another story!) 😱😁
Release had two discs, but it was the 2nd one that kept my attention, bolstering such great songs as Home and Dry, Sexy Northerner, Always, Closer to Heaven, (mostly remixes of the aforementioned songs, that were much better than the original, imo.), and of course the actual song Nightlife and Break 4 Love. During this CD, I was in the middle of the Kent storyline, very heavy involvment!!! And the HUGE trouble I found myself back then. So, to say I needed this CD to help me with my sanity, was an understatement.
I believe it was 2002 or 2003 when a bunch of us queens went to see them in concert!!!! PHENOMENAL NIGHT!!!! I believe it was a part of my birthday celebration, too!
Then later I began to backtrack and pick up songs and previous albums of theirs that I hadn’t been exposed to before. The Bilingual CD with Electricity and Before just exploded for me!!!!! Wow!!!
And thanks to Apple Music, I was able to download the rest of their albums. So, the Boys kept me going beyond 2002 and showed no signs of slowing down by releasing the following CDs: Yes, Fundamental, Elysium, Hot Spot, Pandemonium, Electric, Super, Nonetheless, Relentess. They demonstrated they were keeping up with the times by singing about current themes such as dictators, social media, political scandals, musical artists falling from grace, etc. Their last release was Nonetheless, which was released just last year!!! And I am looking forward to more from them, since apparently they have no plans to ever slow down! Or even stop!!!
Before I end my tribute to the Boys, I must say that I am absolutely hooked on their 2020 album Hotspot, again, thanks to Apple Music. Songs such as Will-o-the-wisp, Dreamland, Monkey Business and DEFINITELY Happy People with its funky beat, but almost sadness element to it, have been keeping me entertained lately.
“Happy People living in a sad world,” has some definite truth to it. And it is safe to say, that right now, this album is getting me through these VERY tough political times.
RuPaul
Well, and then there’s Miss Thing!! LOL
You Better Work!! Supermodel of the World! OMG!! A DRAG QUEEN with an album! YES!! Turn to the left! Now turn to the right! Sashay! Chante! 🤣😂
I mean OMG!!!! RuPaul was FIERCE!! Now, this was wayyyyyyy before her drag race show, which I honestly have never seen. Oops. But honestly, I loved her better when she did music than her TV and movie appearances.
And damn, she had Aunt Esther (LaWanda Page), featured throughout her debut album! You couldn’t ask for anything better.
Supermodel of the World was sort of a transition between me being in North Carolina right before moving to Atlanta, and beyond. So, I DEFINITELY remember dancing to Supermodel at The Power Company, but then dancing to it in Atlanta a year later, as well as dancing to Back to My Roots, Everybody Dance, and House of Love! Exciting time to be a new queer! LOLOL
Honorable mentions
- Actor and entertainer Rip Taylor.
- Actor Paul Lynde!!!!!!
- The soaps!!!
- Sylvester!!!!!!
- Harvey Milk.
- Sade!!!
- Bette Midler!!
- Patti Labelle!!
- Donna Summer!!
- Divine!!!
- Freddie Mercury!!
- David Bowie!!!
And countless others who made it okay and fabu to come out, whether they were str8 women who were very accepting or who simply had a gay following, or gay men who were already out and proud and didn’t give a damn. But gotta give it up for our lesbians, such as K.D. Lang, Melissa Etheridge, Wanda Sykes, Rosie O’Donnell. Okay, I will say Ellen, even though her name is mud right now. However, she was one of the frontrunners of gay women who didn’t wish to play by the rules and came out anyway. I am sure we all remember her coming out on her sitcom from the 90s. Trailblazing!
Well, that’s it. I feel that this post was yet another rant, but just a good one. So, forgive me if it is all over the place! 🤣😂. I hope I did the artists listed and named justice for what they brought to my life during both the good times and the very, VERY bad times. The heartaches, the triumphs, the celebrations, the catastrophes, the fun times and DEFINITELY the going out and enjoying gay life!!! LOLOL
Whatever the reason, they helped me to have the courage to get through and endure.
So, please come back next time when I discuss how I feel that my life is in repeat mode, on a hamster wheel. Until then, please be safe, and as always, mentally well!!!
DEREK’S DISCLAIMER: I am not a medical professional, neither am I giving any medical or legal advice. If you are seeking help from a doctor or an attorney, please consult said professionals. These are my personal thoughts and feelings on the subjects discussed, and my blog is my own personal experiences and journey with mental imbalance. Thanking you in advance!
I do not own the copyright to any songs or videos listed here.
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